Homunculi Meet Homunculi
by MarvelFan19631
Summary: The Homunculi of the 2003 Anime meet the Manga/Brotherhood Homunculi . Hilarity ensues .
1. Wrath Meets Wrath

Author`s Note : I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist... yet ! Heehee . All rights go to Hiromu Arakawa , BONES , Viz Media and Funimation Entertainment .

Wrath was " playing " with some mice outside Dante`s mansion one night when suddenly , a rift in The Gate opened . Out of said rift , a man appeared before Wrath , causing him to drop his mice who then scurried into a hidey-hole before the rambunctious young homunculus could pursue . Wrath was startled by the fact the man looked exactly like Pride . Same hairstyle , same mustache , same eyepatch , same sword , same tan . The man was a little more built and gruffer-looking than Pride but other than that , the two looked identical .

Wrath turned to the man , grabbing him and asked furiously " Who are you and why do you look so much like Pride ? "

" Pride ? " , the man asked . " Oh , I see . There was a rift in The Gate , I must have ended up in some alternate dimension . What`s your name , young man ? " , he smiled .

" Wrath , the name is Wrath " , the boy said , trying to contain his rage .

" That`s funny , I`m also called Wrath . " , the man said .

" But , how`s that possible ? I mean , Edward`s talked about the possibility of parallel worlds but I`ve never exactly been into that science junk like he is . It only hurts my head " , the raven-haired boy brooded .

" Well , nothing is impossible " , the man said and the younger Wrath released him .

" I`m sorry I was so angry , it`s just you look exactly like Pride . And , I hate Pride ! If that jerk had his way , I wouldn`t have any fun at all ! " , he screamed .

" Funny , you`re a child just like my world`s Pride although technically , he`s the eldest of us . Who`s the oldest homunculus in your world ? " , the man asked .

" Envy , the jerk ! " , the boy rasped .

" Hmm , I don`t exactly get along with my world`s Envy , either " , he said .

" Hey , where`s your Ouroboros ? " , the boy asked innocently .

" Oh , it`s under my patch . See ? " , the man said as he removed his eyepatch and sure enough , there it was . He even called it by the same name Pride did . The " Ultimate Eye " .

" Where`s yours ? " , the man asked as he placed his eyepatch over his Ouroboros eye once more .

" Oh , here ! See , see ? " , the boy gleefully showed his right foot .

" I do see ! ", the man chuckled .

" I will become human and then I`ll be free of that stupid mark ! " , the boy declared .

" Become human ? Now , why exactly would you want to do that ? Humans are inferior creatures . They`re little more than cockroaches compared to us . " , he inquired .

" I know , I know ! Okay . Pride , Envy and Dante are always telling me the same thing ! " , the boy screamed .

" Dante ? Who`s that ? " , the man asked .

" She`s our master . She took us in after humans made us with their failed ' human transmutations ' . She`s a total control freak ! Between her and Pride , it`s a miracle I get to have any fun at all ." , the boy explained .

" My world`s homunculi were made by Father , the first homunculus created by the emperor of ancient Xerxes . Either made from scratch using a Philosopher`s Stone and one of Father`s sins or like myself and our second Greed , unusually strong-willed humans injected with Philosopher`s Stone particles and a sin of Father`s choosing . Ofcourse , the human would need a strong metabolism and enough of the sin in question already present . " , he said .

" Don`t you ever miss being human ? " , the boy asked .

" Not...one...bit " , the man said gruffly .

" Ya know , I`ll admit I`m not exactly that smart but I can still tell when I`m being lied to " , the boy rasped .

" Okay , perhaps to some degree " , the man said in an embarrassed tone .

" Don`t you ever get tired of having so much anger inside you all the time ? So much hate ? " , the boy asked .

" Well , I suppose now that you put it that way " , the man replied .

" It`s just , like I get so mad . And , I just wanna explode ! I want everyone and everything in my path to be just as miserable as I am ! I hate humans . Especially their babies ! Always whining and burping ! It drives me crazy ! But , I just want something... to fill this emptiness inside . I wanna love instead of hating everything . It`s a good thing I have Mommy Sloth ! " , he smiled .

" Your world`s Sloth is a woman ? " , the man asked .

" Yup , yours isn`t ? " , the boy asked .

" No , our Sloth`s a man and not a particularly smart one at that " , the man said .

" Oh , kinda like Gluttony " , the boy laughed into his hand .

" Yes , exactly like Gluttony ! " , the man chuckled .

" Well , Mommy Sloth`s really smart . And unlike stupid Dante and Pride , she lets me have lots o` fun . " , the boy grinned .

" Oh , I believe you " , the man said .

" Hey , wanna vent our frustration by torturing defenseless mice ?" , the boy asked , grinning evilly .

" Certainly . Sounds like fun " , the man chuckled , holding his sword in his right hand .

A/N : R & R . And be gentle , it`s my first fic .


	2. Envy Meets Envy

Author`s Note : I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist... yet ! Heehee . All rights go to Hiromu Arakawa , BONES , Viz Media and Funimation Entertainment .

The palm tree-haired boy was taking a nap that made Sloth appear to be a busybody . Suddenly , he hit his head on a nearby tree .

" Ow ! Damn trees ! If I didn`t have regenerative powers , I`d be really , really upset ! " , he declared .

But , that shock was nothing compared to what he next saw before him . A boy that looked exactly like him . This boy was even wearing the exact same clothes .

" Well , hello there beautiful " , the boy said to him .

"Eh ? This has got to be the most wierdass dream I`ve ever had ! " , the palm tree-haired boy said .

" Oh , it`s no dream , sunshine . I`m you from another world much like your own . " , the other boy replied .

" Prove it . What are your favorite hobbies ? " , the palm tree-haired boy smirked .

" Doing my nails , doing my hair , napping and torturing humans , especially that damn pipsqueak ! " , the identical boy replied .

"Okay , you`re me " , the palm tree-haired boy conceded . " But , how is that even possible ? "

" Well , there was a rift in The Gate . Guess I musta fell through and landed in your world or something . " , the identical boy explained .

" Well look , I usually love talking to myself and all but you`re kind of interrupting my beauty sleep . " , the palm tree-haired boy said bluntly .

" WHAT ? YA THINK YOUR TIME`S MORE IMPORTANT THAN MINE OR SOMETHING ? " the identical boy replied angrily .

" Well , see ya `round " , the palm tree-haired boy said as he ran away .

" Jeez , I`m an asshole " , the identical boy muttered as he watched his counterpart run off , slowly disappearing from view .

A/N : R & R


	3. Greed Meets Greed

Author`s Note : I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist... yet ! Heehee . All rights go to Hiromu Arakawa , BONES , Viz Media and Funimation Entertainment .

A/N : Okay , the meeting of the Greeds . It starts to get a bit AU around this part . Reason being , well there are two , actually . One , I already had the Wraths and as those of you familar with the 2003 anime well know , Greed dies shortly after Wrath joins the others in that continuity . Also , I decided to have 2003 Greed meet the second Manga/Brotherhood Greed since the first one isn`t really all that different other than backstory , one henchman 2003 Greed has Manga/Brotherhood Greed doesn`t and the way they die . And , the point of this fic IS to emphasize the differences AS WELL AS the similarities ! So , without further adieu .

" Boom boom , stealin` shit , wreckin` shit up , I`m the most awesomest guy in Devil`s Nest " , Greed murmured in the scratchiest sing-song voice anyone`s ever heard as he filled his bag with stolen goods .

" Well , well . Fancy seein` you , handsome . " , a man said . He looked Asian , had long black hair with wild bangs and a ponytail .

" Okay , just who the hell `r you , exactly ? " , the homunculus asked menacingly .

" Can`t ya tell ? I`m you . I`m dissapointed when a guy doesn`t even recognize his own voice , `specially when that guy`s me , well half o` me anyway " , the man had an Ouroboros on his left hand just like Greed`s own .

" How the hell ? " , the homunculus asked .

" There was a rift in The Gate . I musta ended up in yer world ." , the man explained .

" Huh ? Parallel worlds ? That`s bogus , that`s impossible ! " , the homunculus shrugged .

" Nothin` but nothin` is impossible ! " , the man replied with a grin .

" Hey , wanna go beat up that ugly shit Envy ? " , the homunculus asked .

" Sure , I hate that fashion-challenged shit ! " , the man replied .

A/N : R & R .


	4. Sloth Meets Sloth

Author`s Note : I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist... yet ! Heehee . All rights go to Hiromu Arakawa , BONES , Viz Media and Funimation Entertainment .

Sloth was working tirelessly at Dante`s mansion arranging Pride`s bills .

" Work , work , work ! Dante and Pride are such slavedrivers ! Damn that Pride , I swear to The Gate that man is lazier than I am ! " , she said in an irritated tone .

Speaking of The Gate , a rift then opened up presumably from said Gate and out of that rift fell a man with long , wild black hair like Wrath`s but even more disshevelled and without the adorable bangs , one solid white eye like Gluttony`s eyes and one bloodred eye like Pride when the eyepatch eye was injured . He had an Orobouros on his right shoulder . Sloth looked at the man in shock .

" Uh... Who are you ? " , the man asked .

" Hello , my name is Sloth " , the female homunculus answered as courteously as she could .

" Uh...but I`m Sloth . " , the man replied in a confused way .

" Oh , you must be from another dimension . You must have come through that rift in The Gate " , she explained .

" Wha ? All I remember is I was diggin` a tunnel under the country so I could rest an` all the sudden , I started ta doze off an` this big black hole opened up " , the man said .

" Jeez , you`re as dense as Gluttony " , Sloth said in an annoyed way .

" Uh ... whatevah " , the man said as he began to nod off .

" You know , it`s really hard having everyone expecting me to do everything for them . It`s so tiring . Jeez , I need a vacation " , she said with a sigh .

" Blah...Blah " , the man muttered sleepily .

" Oh dear , was I rambling again ? " , Sloth asked , once more using her " sweet " voice ." Come to think of it , I could use a nap myself " , she sighed .

A/N : R & R .


	5. Pride Meets Pride

Author`s Note : I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist... yet ! Heehee . All rights go to Hiromu Arakawa , BONES , Viz Media and Funimation Entertainment .

The homunculus Pride alias Fuhrer King Bradley was combing his hair and admiring himself in the mirror . Evidently , there was only one mirror in Dante`s mansion and he`d reserved it .

" My my , aren`t we handsome ? " , Pride said to himself in his odd , throaty , slightly accented voice .

Suddenly , a shadowy figure appeared behind him . Bradley turned around and was shocked to find that the figure looked EXACTLY like his human son !

" Selim ? " , the homunculus questioned .

" You look just like my father but this is a different dimension , right ? " , Selim`s eyes glowed red and he had the elongated canines of a homunculus .

" OH , who are you and who is your father ? " , Bradley pondered .

" I am Pride alias Selim Bradley . My father is Wrath alias Fuhrer King Bradley . " , Selim explained .

" Funny in my world , I`m Pride and I also have a Selim . However , he`s human and thus sadly lacks your spunk . By the way , I like the mechanical sound of your voice . Adds a bit of an otherworldly touch " , King-Pride complimented .

" Why thank you . I like your sword . My father`s got one just like it " , Selim-Pride replied .

" It is kinda funny how my counterpart from your world is Wrath . Our Wrath`s a child . And quite frankly as Envy so aptly puts it , he`s a ' hyperactive , loud , obnoxious Momma`s Boy brat with a phobia of the cry of a human infant ' . He`s COMPLETELY unmanageable when Sloth isn`t around . " , King-Pride said in an irritated tone .

" Your Sloth`s a woman ? " , Selim-Pride questioned .

" Oh yes , she`s my secretary ! " , King-Pride smiled .

" Your Wrath sounds cool ! I`d like to meet him ! " , Selim-Pride said innocently .

" Hmm , it`s YOUR funeral , boy ! Now if you`ll excuse me , I have a very important meeting with the mirror " , King-Pride said .

And with that , Selim-Pride vanished into the shadows and King-Pride took a sip of tea .

A/N : R & R .


	6. Lust Meets Lust

Author`s Note : I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist... yet ! Heehee . All rights go to Hiromu Arakawa , BONES , Viz Media and Funimation Entertainment .

Author`s Note : Yep , more AU ! What fun !

Lust was brooding outside Dante`s mansion as she often did .

" Where the hell is Gluttony ? I swear to The Gate if that big oaf ate himself again ! " , she whispered menacingly .

Just then , she was shocked to find a woman who looked identical to her in EVERY way !

" Well well , nice to find a familiar face in this drab world " , the identical woman whispered .

" Who are you and how the hell do you look so much like me ? " , the female homunculus asked .

" Isn`t it obvious ? I`m you from another dimension " , the woman replied .

" How is that even possible ? " , the homunculus asked .

" Well , there WAS a rip in The Gate ! I suppose I must have fallen through " the other Lust replied .

" Well , wanna talk or... something ? " , the homunculus asked .

" Well , I would but I`m expected back in my world . I have much work to do " her counterpart replied coldly as she walked away .

" Heartless bitch " , the homunculus whispered bitterly .

A/N : As you can tell , I prefer 2003 Lust to Manga/Brotherhood Lust ! R & R .


End file.
